Decisions are sometimes made using contradictions. 5. It may seem like there is a choice to participate, but the individual might be more fearful of the consequences they face if they choose to go their own way. Arranged marriages often restrict the decisions that a couple has when choosing a partner. Men are seen as the moneymakers in many of the cultures where arranged marriages are a way of life. Families can also use the arrangement process for their own financial wellbeing, sacrificing the needs of their children to create better living conditions for themselves. That is not the norm. It is a process that can make you feel like you’re going along on a ride that is out of control. These relationships struggle to work because of that perspective. This patriarchal viewpoint trickles down into every decision that the couple might make in the future. Since independence, customary marriages and civil marriages have been treated Secondly, unlike a civil union, a customary marriage is a spiritual union and is not only concluded between the bride and groom. Something as simple as being Catholic vs. Protestant in the United States can create conflict in families based on where the ceremony will be held or how the children are raised. Some families may not even permit the bride or groom to have a say in what happens during the ceremony. Furthermore, the vast majority of marriages concluded in Zambia today (even those concluded under the Marriage Act CAP 50 of the Laws of Zambia) have a customary element to them. This is an attempt to depart from the patriarchal system of customary marriage which has existed for decades. Although the initial contacts between the families went well, the relationship fell through because she didn’t wear glasses when video chatting with her potential husband’s family. The woman is entitled to bring this matter to the court. It is one of many reasons why some families skip the costs of education so that they can try to get paid through a family pairing. 11. If we leave the west for a few days and transplant ourselves into any culture that promotes arranged marriages, we will, in time, realize the logic behind this practice and appreciate the reasons why they work. Her ambitions were to focus on her career, but the family had a different priority. In the APAC region, some countries see rates of more than 90%. 4. A customary marriage is one where the spouses are married in terms of custom as opposed to the laws of a country, usually referred to a as civil marriage. That’s one of the reasons why over half of all marital relationships come through this process. An arranged marriage occurs when a couple embraces the legal bonds of matrimony because of the planning and agreement of their guardians or families. Couples who eventually get married through an arrangement usually meet each other and agree to a courtship facilitated by their family. Our entertainment options today support the idea that having parents or guardians involved in the selection of a lifetime partner is a backwards idea that has outlived its usefulness. Haritha Khandabattu had no desire to get married after she graduated from college. 10. She was forced to give her salary to them. Jay Richards, in the Vol. A married person may have more options when it comes to health insurance. Even if it can be uncomfortable at times, the advice from parents, grandparents, and siblings can create a more robust foundation for a couple during their first days of marriage. This disadvantage can occur for kids as young as 12. Its foundation is pragmaticism. "We found that unpaired individuals of both sexes had higher cortisol levels than married individuals," said one researcher. The global divorce rate from the relationships that form in this way is about five times lower than what it is in the West when individuals choose their life partner. Khandabattu’s situation involved her in-laws wanting money. Married cancer patients were more likely to survive treatment, and researchers at the University of California think it's because they have the reliable "social support" of a spouse. The rate of marriage is at its lowest in 150 years for a number of reasons, but there are still many advantages to tying the knot. You already know what the goal of the relationship is when you first start dating. It gives men more of an opportunity to control the relationship. It eliminates the ambiguity of a relationship. When you have an idea that matrimony is the intent of the relationship, then everyone can be clear about their expectations from the start. People will research reviews on restaurants, get advice about a vehicle, and solicit help when trying to pick a college or university, but fly by instinct when choosing the person with whom they might want to have children one day. So thank your husband or wife the next time you buckle your seat belt. Different communities around the world force people together into a relationship they do not want for the betterment of the family or the culture. That means there is more stability available to them at home. And we must also ask if the current version of marriage is serving us well compared to the alternatives. So, I decided, I’m a good Afghan girl, I’m going to do it the Afghan way, and we got married. 9. An arranged marriage doesn’t rely on chemistry, sparks, or butterflies. What is required on the marriage registry form is the details about the couple's parents- name,age,address, occupation etc. 2. Early Marriage: Advantages and Disadvantages- Here are a small number of tips to assist you clear your mind whether early marriage is fine for an individual or not. 9. It creates a sense of unity when creating a home. The United Nations defines any child marriage as one that is forced, but it is not always seen that way in the different cultures. There is a one-sidedness to the support where the person from “their” family receives the top priority. In the study, participants were asked to play a computer game they believed had high stakes for their academic careers. 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Being married has many financial benefits, including a number of tax breaks, but it also may actually make you richer. “I do not doubt that the life experience gained from past relationships can teach us something about ourselves,” says Al-Marashi, “but that does not mean that there is less opportunity for self-discovery and growth from within a committed relationship.” She says that being with one partner doesn’t limit one’s path to self-knowledge – it’s just a different way to walk. By not wearing them during the initial contact, they felt like she was being deceptive because poor eyesight is seen as a weakness. Some relationships, such as the one that Al-Marashi describes, benefit from the arranged marriage process because there is time built into the schedule so that a meaningful courtship can occur. A spouse without a job can put joint income into an IRA, which they otherwise wouldn't be able to do. Advantages of Polygamous Marriage When there is an arranged marriage, then there are fewer cultural differences to navigate as you progress toward being a long-term couple. There are specific learning experiences that the dating process can provide individuals even if some relationships end in heartache. 5 / No. This disadvantage can apply to their honeymoon (if they get one), or even the first official days of the marriage. Customary marriages do not only have to meet the requirements in the RCM, but also the traditions and custom requirements of the parties involved. Instead of worrying about compatibility, a couple can work toward their best interests. Women bear the responsibility of self-care from an early age. But once you perceive the positive aspects of marriage then you will definitely change your pessimistic views about it. Wendy Troxel of the University of Pittsburgh, who authored the study, also reported that divorced women tend to have worse sleep than married women. 5. This money can then help the family pay for additional resources that can help them to survive. This work goes beyond the desire to maintain the family culture or embrace tradition. Customary Marriages in South Africa: Understanding The Recognition of Customary Marriages Act of 1998 . If they want a divorce, they can still what regular married couples are entitled to, but for that, they have to prove they were married or had the intention to do os. Of course, no matter the surprising benefits of marriage, most people still get married for an old-fashioned reason: love and companionship. The importance of obtaining such a certificate of customary marriage cannot be overstated, and should. 6. A large study of about 800,000 cancer patients found that marital status was a useful indicator of a person's cancer treatment outcome. You may be constantly annoyed by your spouse stealing the covers, but a study of nearly 2,000 women found that women who reported being in a happy marriage also had better sleep. “Clear intentions are a fast track to intimate and deep conversation,” writes Huda Al-Marashi for Self, who has been in an arranged marriage for over 20 years, “and right away, we were able to talk openly about the issues that really matter in a relationship – compatibility, values, and goals.”. If you're thinking about making the walk down the aisle (or into city hall), you may be interested to learn about these surprising benefits to being married. Their saliva was tested for the stress hormone cortisol before and after playing. Men average six serious relationships, and women average five if they choose marriage independently. You could have Jewish parents arranging a partnership to stop a potential relationship with someone who is agnostic. If you're thinking about making the walk down the aisle (or into city hall), you may be interested to learn about these surprising benefits to being married. During the concluding stages of an arranged marriage, it is not unusual for everyone in the family to influence the relationship in specific ways for their personal needs. officer convicted and sentenced in a magistrates court. There are many different kinds of love stories. Even her family might encourage staying in the marriage instead of leaving in an abusive situation because of the cultural implications a divorce would have on them. A shared story on TheTalko recounts the tale of parents who were trying to partner their daughter with a man who worked in the United States. It's certainly possible to be happy and single, and marriage by no means guarantees happiness. There are certainly some advantages to consider when a partner is chosen for you with an arranged marriage, but some disadvantages persist with this pairing even in the cultures that continue to practice it. Women are given the role of providing children, making meals, and keeping the house clean according to the desires of their spouse. In this situation, the only job that each person has for the marriage is to show up to share their vows. And spouses also don't have to pay federal estate taxes when one member of the couple dies. Marriages is a union between two people that provides a sanction for the two partners. Some people in this situation are forced into a place of intimacy with someone who is a complete stranger, yet they are also a spouse. Polygamous marriages can only be legal if all the marriages are customary marriages. That is why you see numerous outreach efforts attempting to help relieve hunger and poverty around the world. Acceptance. Living with a partner lowered the mortality rate for men by 80 percent and for women by 59 percent, according to researchers from Michigan State University and the University of Cincinnati. The reality of life is that everyone, in any culture, can choose to love and embrace their own story, even if their families help to write it. Almost. One interesting way is that married people take fewer risks, including substance abuse. Some people might chase down their lover, but it may be far easier to have your closest allies help you locate the individual who might be right for you. When two people come together in an intimate moment, then it draws them closer because of the shared physical contact – when the experience is positive. PERSONS. The pressure created on customary marriage in the light of continuous social changes and inter-marriages can no longer be ignored. Married people who underwent major heart surgery were three times more likely than unmarried people to still be alive 15 years later, according to researchers from the University of Rochester. "Many assume marriage and cohabitation are wholly the same, but our research showed that cohabitation, generally, led to a shorter lifespan," she said. Arranged marriages have less conflict in the home. The customary marriage requirements extend to their larger families. Most people are not aware of the advantages of marriage due to their weak perspective. When parties (marriage is a contract) contract a customary law marriage, and later a statutory marriage, the statutory marriage in effect suspends the customary law marriage pending the dissolution of the statutory marriage by any court of competent jurisdiction. When their families work together to create a matchmaking experience where the courtship process involves getting to know each other and laying ground rules for future expectations, then it can be a healthy experience for all parties. Women are seen as the caretakers. The unregistered customary marriage disadvantages children in the sense that one spouse, for example the mother cannot obtain a birth certificate for the child in the absence of the father. Instead of exploring at a pace that suits your needs, an arranged marriage forces you to form a specific partnership based on the desires of others. Some cultures embrace the concept of an arranged marriage at an early age. Now that's something to love. Health benefits Married men and women experience numerous health benefits due to their marriage. It forces each person to figure out how they can proceed with society’s desire to see them together. Couples who find themselves independently often struggle with their family structures because someone disagrees with their selection of a partner. It is the ingredient that differentiates a customary marriage from mere cohabitation, popularly known as vat en sit. There are many social, biological, and psychological advantages and disadvantages of increasing the age of marriage. Although some people see this idea as a forced betrothal, many of the couples who come together in this way grew up together. If there is consent, even if it is manipulated by family circumstances, then this disadvantage applies. Maintenance – spousal maintenance can be claimed when a spouse dies from the deceased estate. 4. Marriage is an accepted way for two people to show their commitment to each other. Some of those reasons can be attributed to the wisdom of elders. 4 Registration of customary marriages customary marriage followed by civil marriage. ... it would not be possible to make claims for benefits or divorce if the marriage is not registered irrespective of the fact that there is a provision in the RCMA which states that no link between registration and validity exists. There can be a lack of trust in the eventual relationship. So while throwing a wedding might be expensive, marriage may still be a financially savvy decision. Customary marriages will have full legal recognition. If that expectation is not met, then the male distrusts the circumstances of their coupling, and can sometimes become abusive because of it. Advantages of Arranged Marriages. By Chantel Cronje 2. Plus, it's often cheaper to have a family plan than two separate policies. By definition, a customary marriage is a union that is negotiated, celebrated and concluded in terms of indigenous African customary law. This disadvantage can feel like a hurricane because of an expectation for the couple to please everyone else. Introduction In practice practitioners are continuously being confronted with parties who have entered into a customary marriage, but have failed to have such marriage registered, as provided for in section 4 of the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act 120 of 1998. The bride and groom may have little say in the matter because their parents and extended relatives negotiate the relationship as if it were a business arrangement. Most humans are not solitary and crave companionship. A survey-based study in the Journal of Sociology revealed that "married respondents experience per person net worth increases of 77 percent over single respondents." There are so many different love stories that involve falling for a person at first sight. 1. Marriage is expected to be between 2 consenting adults not babies why presence or consent of parents. These are all advantages of being married. 1. Lead researcher Hui Liu said that marriage had an even more dramatic effect on longevity than simply living with a partner. “Honestly, I can’t remember my wedding day. The whole time it was a horrible feeling.”. That means it doesn’t need to be an “us vs. them” world where each person must find their own path to walk while still trying to maintain their happiness with a partner. When evaluating marriage and domestic partnership, note that a domestic partnership is an excellent way for a couple to create some bonds with each other and make their lives easier (particularly with health benefits), however, these relationships lack many of the important benefits of marriage. The legal benefits of a civil marriage include protecting one another with: Support – being married obligates you to a duty of support to one another depending on each party’s needs. No one is perfect, yet there can be an expectation of perfection when partnering with someone in an arranged marriage. And it's also easier for married people to fight the diseases. be clearly communicated to all members. After 18 months of trying, she just gave up, accepted a job in Amsterdam, and finalize the divorce against the wishes of her family. This relationship can make spouses feel alienated in their own home. 3. The legal advantages of marriage. Because of this relationship structure, dependencies form where a woman cannot get away from an abusive partner because she is separated from any support systems. Most companies provide an option for coverage of an employee's spouse, which they usually won't do for just any live-in partner. For those who have gone through an arranged marriage, there is an advantage to consider when skipping this perspective. People constantly ask if that boyfriend or girlfriend is “the one.” It is not unusual for well-meaning friends to ask how someone can know that they’ll get married if they haven’t dated several others in the past. There are many couples who are still writing their love story today because of an arranged marriage. These are the key points to review. I submit that the delivery of, or the negotiation of ilobolo pursuant to the conclusion of a customary marriage is the most important ingredient that distinguishes a customary marriage from other forms of marriages. That means a daughter can become an expensive proposition, especially if a dowry becomes necessary to create a relationship. According to researcher Dr. Christopher Fagundes, people who live together act more cautiously than people who live alone, and they become even more cautious after they get hitched. 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